Okay gais. It’s been about half a year since release. I suppose the time for secret-keeping is long over by now. I thought I’d write up this little guide for those who might not have discovered everything, but are interested in doing so. :D
Sidequests, Bonuses, and Secrets Guide
It probably goes without saying, but FUCKING SPOILERS, HOW DO THEY WORK? I take no responsibility for any ruined surprises or expectations if you choose to read this. :3
Here’s a list of all the optional objectives in the game, the rewards you get for completing them, and how to go about doing it.
The Missing Paintings
In a house in BoxxyForever, you’ll meet Alex – an artist whose paintings have mysteriously vanished. He’ll ask you to recover them, in exchange for various prizes. There are sixteen paintings in total, and they can be found in the following locations:
Painting #1 – In a barrel in the extreme southwest corner of /m/. A nearby NPC comments on it if you talk to him.
Painting 2 – Speak to Math Guy in the Skype Community Theater. Only available after Boxxy’s Spire.
Painting #3 – In a chest in the VIP room of the Sparrow Inn in Skype.
Painting #4[b] – In the treasure cave in Tinychat Desert. You need Fence Climb to reach this.
[b]Painting #5 – On Floor 50 of the Pit of 100 Faggots.
Painting #6 – In a barrel underneath the large shady tree near the southern entrance to Social Road.
Painting #7 – Speak to Bracketsy in Skype until he gives you this.
Painting #8 – In the barrel next to Tuo and Maxie’s house in /m/.
Painting #9 – In Facebook Snowfield, on the ground near the campfire that can be found if you walk along the northern edge of the first screen.
Painting #10 – Win one of the obstacle courses at Racecart Crash!!
Painting #11 – Buy a plushie from JaKalibur in /m/, and then give it to the lonely child in Skype.
Painting #12 – Defeat Revvy in the colosseum to win a diary; then give the diary to the red-haired girl near the front desk.
Painting #13 – In Boxxy’s Spire. At the intersection just before the repeating hallways, take the upper-left corridor to find a treasure room.
Painting #14 – Speak to Leifr in his tent on the road leading east out of Skype
Painting #15 – In Shrimp’s treasure vault. You need Fence Climb to get inside the vault.
Painting #16 – Found at the summit of the mountains behind BoxxyForever. During the second “outside” portion of the mines, climb the ladder to the very top, and then jump across to the other side.
Reward – Lots of things, because you’re given items or money after each individual painting is returned.
The Pit of 100 Faggots
Halfway along Social Road, you’ll find an intersection where you can go left or right. If you choose the left path, you’ll discover a mysterious cave at the end. This bonus dungeon has 100 floors. You must defeat enemies to advance from one floor to the next. There are prizes and an exit on every floor ending with 0, and boss battles on every floor ending in nine. Once you go inside, you can’t save the game until you’ve left.
Note: you’ll need the “Fence Climb” ability and lots of healing items in order to make it completely through the dungeon.
Floor 10: Webring
Floor 20: Diamond-Obsidian Armor
Floor 20: Faggotglow Whip
Floor 40: 40,000 Posts
Floor 50: Missing Painting #5
Floor 60: The Blade of Fallen Memes
Floor 70: The Pony Bow
Floor 80: Gauntlet of Faggotry
Floor 90: Shield of the Basement Dweller
Floor 100: Crissa will join your party. (Optional party member one of two!)
North of the Sparrow Inn in Skype is a brown-roofed building serving as the city’s archives. Masonprof is there, and will ask you several questions about things you’ve experienced on your journey.
Question One: Twenty People
Question Two: 380 Posts
Question Three: Three Times
Question Four: Water Attacks
Question Five: Three Butterflies
After answering all five questions correctly, Masonprof will join your party. (Optional party member two of two!)
Hide-and-Seek with Heyguise
You’ll find Heyguise standing in front of a market stall in /m/. When spoken to, he’ll challenge you to find him three times. If you do so, he’ll give you the Hidden User’s Shroud, which greatly increases the evasion of whoever equips it.
First hiding spot: Northeast of Racecart Crash!!, behind a tree.
Second Hiding spot: In the garden of Shrimp’s castle, up against the wall.
Third Hiding spot: Behind Kaylaa’s item shop.
Racecart Crash!! Is the red-roofed building next to the eastern exit of /m/. It’s a cart-riding obstacle-avoidance minigame. You have to make it to the end of the course without hitting too many objects.
There are four courses in total, and winning each for the first time will net you one of the exclusive light saber items.
Also in /m/, this marble arena houses grand battles in which you can participate. By wagering one of your own items, you’ll be pitted against an enemy who has wagered an item of their own. Only one of your party members may enter the arena, and the winner walks away with both items.
There are a handful of prizes, such as the Golden Hairband and the Data-String Whip, that can only be obtained in this fashion.
For a complete table of items, enemies, and prizes, see here:
(Credit to Robert Paulson for the awesome chart. :D)